aussiepoet

THE PARA-VET

Category: /General/

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A bloke from way down in the city
As far away from the outback as one could get~
Decided to go try life in the outback
And took a job as a para vet~
It was away out on a distant remote cactus farm
In the middle of heaven knows only where~
And they only had a few hundred sheep n cattle
And they didn't need much care~
All the blokes that worked there
Had almost been there for always~
And had not been off this farm
For forever and thirty days~
One of the blokes said he felt ill
And they were just so far out back~
So when he keeled over on the job
They made a hospital in an empty shack~
The para vet then he decided that
He could do the job on him~
And got a few tools from the workshop
Not to operate would be a sin~
They thought he might have a gall stone
Well that's what the para vet he thought~
One thought he might have a fur ball
As he did like sheep but was never caught~
So they put him to sleep with home brew
And then went inside of him to see~
The para vet and a few farm workers
Who were as handy as could be~
They found a few bits and pieces in there
Of what they never had a clue~
So they did not look too useful
And they cut them out it's true~
They cut off a few small loose bits
That was hanging loose here and there~
And then stitched him up with baling twine
And a bag needle with care~
When he woke up they told him that
He really ought to rest~
So they decide he needed somewhere peaceful
They thought the hay shed would be best~
A few hours later in the afternoon
He came walking funny down the track~
Half dressed with a shovel handle under his arm
And looking rather slack ~
How ya feeling now old buddy they said
He said I am not really sure~
I feel rather empty inside
And I can't walk correctly any more~
So they had a look and there it was
They'd sown the top of his legs together~
So they convinced him he'd be fine but
He'd have to change his name to heather~
Next thing he heard the strangest tune
Deep from within side of him it's true~
And when the para vet found he'd lost his mobile phone
He did not know just what to do~
So they told him not to worry but
That the battery would run down soon~
and to in the meantime
Just get used to the tune~
So if ya see a bloke out there walking funny
Don't worry he's just fine~
But if he decides to kick the bucket
That blasted Mobile phone is mine~

Terrence Michael Sutton
copyright 2008

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