Untitled - outburst written on the face on 28 12 2020
You know, I always hear about it somewhere, be it on Father Marcelo Rossi's program, or on Reinaldo Gottino, that at the end of the year, it would be good to reconcile with the people, whom you hurt several times, and those who hurt you.
That it is good to stop being proud, and ask for forgiveness.
Tough, because I always hurt people, hurt me, and I reread, reread a small talk, a work chat, where it would be more valued, but it didn't happen.
In the family, I have already told everyone that I always make mistakes, with my children, with my husband, with my mother, but we overcame, we faced difficulties together.
And, I still can't understand why two cousins, who I know have this shit face, like me, due to things that happened a few years ago, blocked me, it hurts, I won't say no. Even a phone conversation for my mom, they both forgot.
I already said I was wrong, but, life requires me to forgive myself, to do an examination of conscience, and to try to improve.
They are not superior to me at all, on the contrary, they are teachers, mothers, one has a little management position, who earns a little more than the teacher who faces n things in the classroom, and so on.
They are two cousins, who, in fact, have always been my older sisters, and if I, as one always says, I have bitter words to say, I certainly had good teachers, like them to teach me.
I know I shouldn't say everything here on a front page, but it is Christmas, it is the end of a year that we have been isolated by the pandemic issue, but it doesn’t matter, I am pushed aside, they have conversations with my children: Alexia Cristina, Emmanuel Castro Anninha Castro and my husband Eduardo Riveiro Castro, but they don't talk to me, or to my mother who doesn't use the internet, just a landline.
But, okay, that Angela and Adélia, have a promising 2021, with their children and grandchildren, and above all have health to live their lives well, and not forget their roots, as I wrote in the Voices of the Wind Anthology - Page - 279 - "Family influence: Gonçalves, Mendes e Castro, from Editora Gaya - Alpas 21, where I tell a little about the roots that formed me: Grandparents Paternos: Emídio and Maria Júlia, and the Maternos: Justino (who I met) and Albertina, citing of these the seven children, the genetic question - Robertsonian Translocation of Chromosome 13. The Polydactia, but one of the only ones that seeks its roots is me, and having transcribed them.
That was it, I miss them, these two cousins, that I mentioned.
But, also of so many uncles, who left, my cousins who went there, with incredible freedom, and I also miss the second cousins of my father's family, Alexandre, Ana Paula, Ester and Miriam, from Raquel , of Augustine, in short, everyone who followed his path.
And now, here I am tearing myself up verbally and with tears in my eyes about wanting to take the first step, and I really want it, I saw that life passes in an instant. Today we are here, tomorrow, due to having a single kidney, having comorbidities, sensitivities, all of a sudden, I may be gone, and will they miss me?
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