terezacristinagonalvesmendescastro

21 years

Category: /Homage/
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21 years

He came of age.
And he covered me with so many memories.
Today when I saw her at the dance, with pliés, swirls and others,
I find the shivers of the soul.
And in remembering that it was, they were, generated with love.
That connection of knowing before any ultrasound, that they would be two little beings,
One with curly hair, and the other straight hair.
Which would actually be a little couple.
So they didn't wait until the gestational end,
Something happened, and it made me feel bad.
But that evil would bring you into this world: Alexia Cristina and Gabriel.
So premature. A little creature that checked the body mass, had 1K and 900g and another 1k and 3oog.
Life in the neonatal ICU of Santa Joana Hospital. The reality of investigating the genetics of the family, and every day the overcoming. Tears. Emotion.
Overcoming between ICU and semi, it was 17 days that Alexia, stayed there, and Gabi 47 days. But they both overcame what maybe I wouldn't.
You so beautiful, my babies, came home, and we changed between furniture and habits.
And today a movie passes in my life, and I wanted to tell it by my own lips.
Each day at home, others and many surpassings, emotions lived, joyful, sad, but learned. "Everything in Life is learning." And today I still see that little girl in the ICU who at birth, the doctors, said she was relaxed, because she was sitting on her brother, when the cesarean section was performed.
Well, time passed, Gabi's story, everyone knows how it was, in the many reports I have written. Today Alexia Cristina, you are here, and believe me, daughter, I don't see her but want to overcome the obstacles experienced, it seems that something has stopped her. But go back to being that little girl who every day in the ICU, saw the overcoming, or in the food, or in the way of taking the medication, that many were so fragile in her head.
You are my premature little princess, and today I can no longer find that connection of ours from when I was pregnant with you.
You've grown, and today I see you happy only on stage, spinning, dancing and nothing else. I ask you, princess, take care of your food, please, don't kill yourself homeopathically, no. Eat fruit, drink water, and drop soft drinks, artificial juices, lots of meat, out, consume like a great dancer.
Daughter, I wanted to leave better goods, but the matter empties, so I offer you the studies, because nevertheless nobody will take them away from you. Study music, dance, to teach for adults or children. Be happy in your art, and in your profession.
And as for dating, you started at the same age as me, at fourteen, but know daughter, God provides someone special in our lives, it was in pain, in sorrow, and in a great friendship that I found your father, and together we battled for you and your brothers. We have no financial conditions, but the teaching I give you is only Study, for yet Study changes the World.
Daughter, 21 years old, you have grown up, I still keep inverse verses in my memory.
Alexia Cristina, your story is beautiful, w know that I love, even when I complain, I only want your good.
Besides, I want us to live in peace, and I see you, as I did years ago with my father, only after God rescued him to Heaven, did I realize that I was the one who was rebellious, and that he only wanted to transmit love to me, but then, already late, and the pain of repentance accumulates in other pains. Therefore, daughter, I want you to be happy, to follow the advice of your grandmother Deonilde who loves you so much, of your mother who carried you in her womb and of God who made you great in Christ, for the Dance, like King David.
Daughter, you are my rare jewel, borrowed from Heavenly Father, I love you and I love you very much, and perhaps in my daily life, I don't know how to express, like everything I have in my life, I do better in writing, in poetry, in prosa-poetry.
Daughter I love you, and I want you perfect for the world, environmentalist, sustainable, without revolts, and believe me, the world turns around, and we still find ourselves, with that connection that there was in your pregnancy, but I say to the whole world.
You are a rare and true crystal.
Daughter, 21 years old, of age, may life bring you only many and many congratulations.
Mama.

Prose - Poetics in honor of my Daughter Alexia Cristina, handwritten that morning of 29/12/2019. Sunday at 9am and 14 min. 9 hours before her 21 years of life. Born at 6pm and 24min, summer time in 1998.

Author: Tereza Cristina Gonçalves Mendes Castro
#HospitalSantaJoana
#Prematures
#Born a son, born a mother #
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