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Children as a Weapon

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CHILDREN AS A WEAPONFri, 01/24/2014 - 14:36 -- DeeFrancis

CHILDREN AS A WEAPON. W/ SARAH HASSMAN & THE DR. PHIL PROJECT

January 15, 2014 at 10:57pm
 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Children As A Weapon: by 
Darlene Francis

http://womensglobaljustice.com/dee/www-palienation-org/
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It is such an honor to have received this very informative, touching and beautifully worded article about our precious Children and the War of Parental Alienation and then to find that I was a great influence. I am sure you will agree with me, this article reveals not only Darlene Francis’ beautiful mind but also her compassionate and amazing heart and soul. Sharing this wonderful article is another great way to begin 2014. Here are Darlene Francis’s informative and touching words:  by:  Sarah Hassman
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  In the beginning: In the words of my own, using Sara Hassman as a source reference.  It is an incredible pleasure and honor, to have received this invitation to write for Sarah Hassman and team of experts at The Phil Show.  Sarah's professionalism and patience was greatly appreciated and highly reccomended.

---In my research, I closely reviewed Sarah's facebook postings and comments to seek - out, the feeling of such an emotion. I found her words of expression to be very inspirational. Once again, I truly thank her!  https://www.facebook.com/ParentalAlienationSolutions

--- In this research, I also found the website form the Medical Students and Residents very helpful, as far as facts.http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Medical_Students_and_Residents/Home.aspx?hkey=2d57e659-d566-4d70-9f68-bf8f58ff3245" data-ajax="false"> http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Medical_Students_and_Residents/Home.aspx?hkey=2d57e659-d566-4d70-9f68-bf8f58ff3245 


*** A child is a true blessing, an angel hoping and wishing for their dream A child is always loving and trusting. Trusting in us; as their parent, unconditionally. Trusting that we as adults; will provide and take care of them. Once that child’s soul is broken, that soul needs mending. Children need true guidance, acceptance, and understanding, of their capabilities. Even, if it means understanding in their own tragedy. One must also understand the tragedy, of others. It is in this sensitivity that creates one's character. The caring of others is easily forgot. The sins of passing judgment are easily cast. Children are far more of acceptance, without such judgment. They hold no grudge against us. There is no one that will love you more; in this lifetime, than your child.  This love is real, it is true. It is a parent/child bond. This bond is unconditional. It is a blessing to have and to hold. A bond to cherish. To love a child is to love, like no other. There is no one more loving and forgiving than a child. Children are a blessing, true angels. Angels in disguise, as little humans on this earth. Our own creations, and they live what they learn. They are the true teachers.  To listen to our children and be taught, by their innocence. It is a gift for all to hear.  

***"Listen to our children and hear what they are saying. They are the angels that guide us, in all light; that shines through them. The children are the reflection of our soul. Our children are our past that lay behind us, they are our future that stand before us."
 
They need guidance and encouragement from us, as their parents. They need a parent/ child bond to show them love and peace. If that bond is broken. The soul is broken. There is no bond, no hope and no more dream.   So I ask you, why is this parental alienation an issue?

--- As horrible as it is; parental alienation, we beat, torture and kill our own children. From the inside out, we destroy them day by day. In each day; becoming more withdrawn, from what should be the happiest times, of their lives. Instead, they live in constant fear. We have put the fear of God, in our own children.  Our children have become a victim of a society,that we have created for them. The world that they did not choose. A world, that the children could only wish, were a bad dream.  *A nightmare surrounds their day. In the day by night, a day to survive. In their world, is a silent battle that no one hears. The sad part is; that there are some people that do hear, but they ignore the cries. The children cry out for this war to end, for their world as they know it, to end!   They wonder what have they done to deserve this?  They are afraid and become withdrawn. Their emotions are confused. They have been pushed in the middle of two worlds colliding, and wonder which side to pick. Too afraid of choosing wrongly, and afraid of offending the other, they choose no one. It isnt fair!  Why is this happening?  They become insecure. Their grades are affected. They may lash out. Their behavior is becoming unstable. And they do not understand why. They simply do not know how to release their pain, onto the world; in which they do not understand. Their perfect world as they knew it, has crumbled. They cry out! They think it is their fault!  The only way they know to cry out, is usually brought out in negative ways. As this is what they have learned.  These children are not failures. 

***Who's fault is it? Is it society's fault?  It is also the parent. Those parents who are  responsible for this war. Responsible for this corruption that filled the minds, of their children. Responsible for the war that has taken over their home. This war that disturbs their blessed peace. These children that have suffered so tragically in such horrible ways, that I cannot even begin to imagine.Often, this alienating parent who created this war has been once alienated themselves.  When, where, and how must this madness be stopped? How can we stop the torture of such vulnerable beings? They are the most loving creatures on this planet. They only need chance in his life, to be whole and to grow as healthy, functional adults. To grow into caring loving adults with peace in their hearts, and in their life. They need a chance to find themselves. This true character that is within us all. There is a child within us all, that is constantly searching for acceptance and love. Every child deserves a chance for love in this world. We as adults should truly need to learn, to love our children. We as adults should learn to take that quality time, with our children.We should teach them right from wrong, and to do right by people. This world should not be about greed and corruption, of one's mind. Nor, should it be about the control and manipulation of someone else's life. We should love and accept one another's hopes and dreams. It is only right to support each other, as brother and sisters.  "He aint heavy he's my brother." We are all created equal so therefore, we should all be treated with respect.  But first one should respect oneself; to define our true character, and then show respect, for another. To love thyself is to love another. Love the world. It isn’t right to bring someone down; or take away their beliefs. It is fine to disagree. Just do not strip someone of their faith. This faith is all we have as children, and as children on earth we have to have faith in that peace. 

 To have that peace disturbed and to have their innocence violated is to disturb their happiness, for the rest of their life. If they do not seek, and search, and mend. The cycle begins. A child, and then another. And so parental alienation begins. A war! A vicious war, that will never end.  For the child's recovery is the hardest part. And to give themselves time to heal, is to be patient and consistent. But to forgive and to heal in their own time, in their own way, is the true challenge that is to be conquered. Accepting this alienation, and accepting this cycle, is not acceptable.  For a child to accept themselves as beings, is crucial and to accept a new beginning, is a new offering. A NEW DREAM, It is time for the broken souls to mend. It is time for the unspoken souls to speak. 

*** It is in my opinion, that when parents use their children to get their own ways, to control their own unhappiness, they are the one's being immature and selfish. They need to grow up and stop thinking about themselves and think about what is best, for the children. It is always best if the parents can get along accordingly; if a divorce happens, in any family. It is hard enough on the child to adjust to a divorce as it is; then to have to worry about making mommy and daddy happy, or mad. It is not the child's responsibility to referee' the parents. The parents should get counseling for the entire family, if they have an issue, that they cannot handle emotionally. 

--- Divorce affects their health, their school. It affects every aspect of the child's life. These angels did not ask for it, they were born to it.

 ***People need to wake up to what is going on in this world, and to who, is behind this madness. The power can be brought down, The secrets and the lies must be exposed. This emotional torture that we are exposing our children is the destruction of their socialization.In their way of dealing with confusion, they just withdraw from everyone. It is concrete but yet, defined. In such ways one may experience PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) and other mental disorders. It is not fair to intentionally hurt them. These beautiful children that we have brought into this world, are trusting us as adults, to encourage and inspire their inhibitions. To teach them how to speak to the world and to capture their pain. To show them how to release that pain, in a positive way. In ways of expressing their emotions in productive ways. In ways, that they never dreamed they could, or ways they ever thought they would. A loving child has been born into our world, we are blessed with their presence. Their soul is innocent.

***In this world there is no one more innocent than an adorable child. A child is born with peace and happiness. It is in their nature to smile, and to share that happiness. They are here on this earth, to express themselves freely and compassionately. They have no remorse, because they have no sin. In this world, they have been brought into sin and corruption. It overwhelms them.  The stress becomes more intense. 

The world is becoming more aggressive and the stresses have become more noticed, in our children, in our animals, and in our ways of actions. The world is a fast paced rat – race, each fending for himself, to bitter end. What has happened to the better end?What has become of the ways to live and to protect? Especially, in ways that we should be protecting our children. Instead of exposing them to unnecessary nonesense.  If we do not protect them, who will? It is our job, our duty; as parents to give everything we have to and for, our children. Including, to die for them. 


--- Do the parent's not feel guilty for using these children in a war zone? How could they not feel guilty for not helping their children through one of the worse times, in their life? The guilt of not being there, for our children should go both ways. The truth is to always remember as a parent of a child, the only one at fault is the person that is “down with the sickness”. But who is really at fault here? Is it not also the fault of the justice system? Should the laws be changed? Is it right to control the monetary issues to benefit those favoring alienation and destruction of the sacred and loving parent/child bond?

---In my research, I was able to find the following two psychologists who fit certain requirements.


Dr. Richard A. GardnerWebsite: http://www.rgardner.com/Justification: Dr. Gardner was the expert who first coined the phrase"parental Alienation syndrome." See his excellent page entitled"QUALIFICATIONS OF RICHARD A. GARDNER, M.D. FOR PROVIDING COURTTESTIMONY" athttp://www.rgardner.com/pages/cvqual.html and a summary of his CV at http://www.rgardner.com/pages/cvsum.html.Contact Information: Call him at his company, Creative Theraputics, at 1-800-544-6162.
 

Dr. Monty WeinsteinWebsite: http://www.familyunity.com/index1.htmlJustification: Dr. Weinstein has testified in over 750 cases in theUnited States on abuse and parental alienation. 


--- Has justice become unavailable to the children that we brought into our world? It is the greed. Simple greed for self-satisfaction. To hurt one over the other.

*** To play games against the other parent, with the child in the middle, using money to do it. Do they not understand this emotional torture, the cruelty, and the damage this does? These scars run deep for a child and will be remembered for a life-time.  The war of the roses needs to end.  The hatred needs to end. The corruption that the children are exposed to needs to end, and so does the alienation. It is time to bring back the bond that forms by love. Or, do they not even care?  Don't we have enough to worry about from outside sources? Is there not enough evil in this world, then to bring it in the home?

It has become as if we cannot even let our children play outside anymore. We have to constantly worry for their safety. To worry about those predators lurking, watching for an innocent child. Waiting to take advantage of their vulnerabilities; of their innocence. There is no one more innocent than a child. It is such ashame when our children cannot feel secure, in their own home. A broken soul. A broken home.

--- According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Physchiatry Medical Students and Research.  In experts opinions:

http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Medical_Students_and_Residents/Home.aspx?hkey=2d57e659-d566-4d70-9f68-bf8f58ff3245

+++CONQUERING OBSTACLES IN LIFE IS A CHALLENGE FOR US ALL, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FEEL ABANDONED OR DISCONNECTED.

 --- A child in a divorced home has many obstacles. It is in expert opinions, that if this child has been used as a weapon between the parents this causes behavior, emotional, and mental disorders. This type of manipulation from the parents only teaches the child to manipulate others, even to lie. Children learn what they live. They are destined by learned behavior. 

To manipulate a child into an adult battle is to confuse a child. The outcome can only be negative. The child will learn to manipulate the parents as well. Using one against the other in order to get their way. Including major life decisions that will eventually disrupt the household and only lead, to more behavior issues. This will also teach the child to have difficulties; in their own relationships, in their future, with peers and partners.
 
Having instability and unstable tendencies. To have trouble with following through with tasks, or sticking with any lifelong goals. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm" data-ajax="false"> http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm

--- So, how does this relate to Parental Alienation? Parental alienation is a severe trauma to an important relationship between a parent and their child. It is pervasive and goes on and on, day in and day out.

***Until finally, the victims either concedes to the stress of the emotional abuse or fights back, with all their might. Each person's response to this trauma is different. For the Targeted parent and the children, it becomes a roller coast of emotions, fears, devastation and abuse. A living death with no closure.They cannot move forward in a positive way. They are traumatized by the aggressive attacks from the alienator and hence the severe responses that we often see in the children and then in the targeted parent.One might even venture a guess to say that the abusive, sick alienating parent is suffering from PTSD because of the loss of the marital relationship and control, but is in survival mode; to make sure that they are not abandoned and that they win at all costs.

--- Some of the many responses I have heard and seen from the trauma of PAS are:

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm

These symptoms include: 
Uncontrollable rage and anger, Constant Fear, Constant anguish, Paranoia, Avoidance of the aggressor, Avoidance of the children, Substance abuse of all kinds. Inability to think rationally. Inability to control their emotions. Distancing themselves from everyone around them. Putting up walls to protect themselves. Flunking school or life. Obsessive compulsive issues. Deviant behavior in the children. Hyper vigilance in everything they do. Burying themselves in school or work. Panic attacks, nightmares, and over-exaggerated responses to stimuliI could go on and on with the signs and symptoms of PAS, but there is no need. From this list you can see how the psychological abuse caused by PAS has the same signs and symptoms as PTSD. Due to this it is my belief that PAS should be considered a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by the trauma of psychological abuse. And this opens the door to an additional way of treatment for the victims of Parental Alienation."  * Unquote

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm" data-ajax="false"> http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm
 
--- Do you know the meaning of alienation? http://www.wordcentral.com/cgi-bin/student?book=Student&va=alienationIn the Meriam Webster dictionary - the definition of alienation for children is 1. : a withdrawing or separation of a person or a person's affection from an object of past attachment 2. : a transfer of property to another 
Alienation- a sociological concept developed by several classical and contemporary theorists,[1] is "a condition in social relationships reflected by a low degree of integration or common values and a high degree of distance or isolation between individuals, or between an individual and a group of people in a community or work environment."[2] The concept has many discipline-specific uses, and can refer both to a personal psychological state (subjectively) and to a type of social relationship (objectively).  http://www.ask.com/wiki/Social_alienation

 "Parental Alienation Syndrome is an aggressive form of psychological abuse whereby one parent, usually, degrades and destroys the relationship between the children and their other parent."http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm" data-ajax="false"> http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/visitation/f/Can-Parental-Alienation-Cause-Ptsd.htm   ( unquote) 

--- Do you know the statistics on parental alienation? On Friday, October 3, 2008, the "Dr. Phil" show aired a national program devoted to the subject of Parental Alienation. National Center For Men director, Mel Feit, participated in a panel discussion which included a debate about whether parental alienation syndrome really exists. The show was rebroadcast on December 26, 2008.  http://www.nationalcenterformen.org/page13.shtml. There appear to be no authoritative statistics on parental alienation and anyone who gives you a statistic is probably guessing. Some activists say that parental alienation occurs in most divorces, but that mis-states the case. While it may be true that most divorces involve some instances of maligning an ex, that can usually be described as "bad divorce" and not parental alienation, a far more serious problem.The only interesting statistic we have come across comes from Dr. Gardner. Quoting from his website, "In those cases in which the court saw fit to transfer custody from the alienating to the alienated parent there was 100 percent success rate regarding alleviation, if not complete evaporation of PAS symptoms."

***In contrast, when the court chose to allow PAS children to remain with the indoctrinating parent, there was a 91 percent rate of permanent alienation from the targeted parent."

 ***Our children have been the center of man's unjust inhumanity, from the beginning of time. As the Pharaoh has proven simply, by cursing the first born, of all mankind. In his vengeance,  Pharoh had cursed his own.


 ***For God so loved the world that he sacrificed his only begotten son.

 ***For Pharaoh so greed the world; he sacrificed his own forgotten son. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my research and my words. I am a self taught writer, with a dream of pursuing a career in writing. 
 

by Darlene Francis  (Dee)

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We will not forget the millions of children suffering from the mental child abuse and emotional torture brought on by this war of parental alienation as we work together with Sara Hassman and Parental Alienation Solutions to make a difference to our children and our world by bringing awareness. Please feel free to circulate this article as well as the very informative Parental Alienation Solutions Facebook posts and website pages and blogs.  www.PAlienation.org;
 
We are fighting for humanity!!!

S.Hassman

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Children As A Weapon: by 
Darlene Francis - aired on The Dr. Phil Show 2014

http://womensglobaljustice.com/dee/www-palienation-org/
Womens Global Justice Organization https://www.facebook.com/pages/Womens-Global-Justice-Organization/302582286418621 / womensglobaljustice.com 
www.linkedin.com/in/darlenefrancis65/
www. poetry.poem/deedee65/portfolio
Inspirational Poetry by Dee F
http://www.powerpoetry.org/users/gylin65


+++Poets Specialties:

Freelance writer for National Writer's Union & At-Large steering committee member author "Whiteroses" vol. 1 "The Devil's Bath-tub"


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Member of : National Writer's Union/ steering committee & free lance
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